honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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