By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Mom said you looked used
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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