"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
