You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
