I hate your face
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
