I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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