Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
