I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have post one night stand depression
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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