so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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