I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
