someone get that fucking seahorse.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
birth control should be required to get into college
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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