this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
