Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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