i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize