Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize