If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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