you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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