Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
