like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize