took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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