your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
