it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They have beer where we have blood.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize