There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
