What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
