note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
