U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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