it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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