Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
