Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
