ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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