i would punch a child for taco bell
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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