I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
