Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize