I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
