You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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