Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
its liver damage thursday
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
