woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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