Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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