Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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