She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
