we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
