Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You smell like stripper and shame
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
