Someone shit on the floor
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
