im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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