Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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