oh god the rape fog is back!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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