I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
