Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize