I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
