Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
