she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
