you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
