at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
BRING THE BAGELS
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize