so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
