Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my vagina is haunted
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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