Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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