He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no you cant smoke seaweed
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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