recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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