college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
