I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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