so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
