But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
