I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
