Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
