I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
