oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she peed on how many people?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
