At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
