Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
