Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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