No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There's even glitter on my cock...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
