His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
