i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
