super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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