these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
