At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
