He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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